Because I like my tea
with a side of laughter

BuzzFeedAirbnb Reviews for Famous Homes

4 Privet Drive

Accio my weekend back. The hosts put me in a cupboard under the stairs and asked me suspicious questions about owls. On my second day, I exited the cupboard and found the younger host waiting for me. He asked if I was “waiting for [my] letter.” I was like, “What?” He asked me how old I was, and when I replied, “30,” he said, “Never mind, you’re too old.” Rude. READ MORE

McSweeney's Internet TendencyThe Ultimate Hunger Games

I enter the dining room. There’s a gold cornucopia on the table. I think, what a wonderful seasonal flourish. But I know it’s dangerous. My ten relatives rush towards it, grabbing at the appetizers that are sprinkled around like land mines. I want to do the same, but I waver… early-eating is a deadly mistake. READ MORE

McSweeney's Internet TendencyMy Modern Family

My modern family begins with me, my mom, my dad and my sister.  My sister is a dog; her name is Snickers.  My mom is Russian, and believes that running will give you a heart attack.  My dad is a Scientologist.  He signed a billion-year contract with Sea Org, so I don’t see him very often. Sometimes he sends me packages of sand. READ MORE

DefenestrationThe Bride's Day-of Schedule

7:30am Wake up for real, take a shower and welcome your bridesmaids.  Ask Bridesmaid #1 why she brought a travel container of Starbucks blend coffee, when you, the bride, requested a tallskinnyvanillalatte.  When she starts to cry, tell her it’s okay – but, roll your eyes, so she knows that it actually is not okay. READ MORE

DefenestrationHow to Become a Chatelebrity

If you’re like me, and I think you are, you are not social, but you dream of being a little bit famous.  You are awkward, but you are also delusional.  Am I right?  You’re trying to get out in the world without ever leaving your apartment.  Yes?  Well, it is time for you to thank a god – and that 17 year old Russian kid – for thinking up Chatroulette. READ MORE

Literary Death MatchWest?

Anyone could be hiding behind a tree. Murderers, rapists, serial killers—yeah, the authorities. I mean, I love it here where I can see forever—and that way I know if something is coming at me. I mean, I also want to see if friends or families are coming…or animals…like snakes, I don’t know… SEE THE VIDEO